Jai Guru Deva,
In a desperate bid of image changeover, Donald Trump decides to enroll himself in JNU for showing the republicans and rest of the universe the liberal side of his personality. "This is not a hasty decision after cancelling a couple of rallies but a well thought out decision by Donald. We are pretty confident that this gambit will work in our favor. After all, JNU is the Mecca err.. Jerusalem of liberal thinking where even public urination is treated as a gesture of liberty" explained one of his supporters. Several jobless guys analysts believe that this will swing the tide decisively in favor of Trump. "I think this will help him, till now everybody accused him as prejudiced, hate monger, white supremacist. But once he enrolls in JNU he will naturally become a liberal thinker. I'm sure he will stop muslim bashing and will start wearing a rumi cap to display how progressive and liberal he has become" remarked one of the analyst while cleaning the accumulated dust in his ears. However, not all is well in Republican party. Republican leaders who spent $38M to stop Donald Trump are dumbstruck with this development. "Had he did this before, we would have saved $38M and thats hell lot of a money" groaned one of the angry leader.
On the other side, Prof. Memon of JNU welcomed Donald Trump into the University. She explained that "By not belonging to the most violent Hindu religion he has a natural qualification for liberal thinking. Now, all he has to do is some practice with Azadi slogans and I'm sure he will be good at it. I wish he takes slogans like Azadi from Wall Street, Azadi from Manhattan and Azadi from Statue of Liberty to showcase his liberal thought process." Self certified senior journalists of Indian media were delighted with this move. Burkha Dutt declared that she is already planning a series like "From a real estate tycoon to Liberal Thinker: Journey of Donald Trump" while her compatriot Rajdeep Sardesai declared that he will allocate one chapter of his next book for Donald Trump. "Seems Zee group bought India Today so I will be job less again and will have to write something. Will write about Trump and Old Monk. Subhratri!" tweeted Sardesai. The editorial of The Hindu has praised that the move of Donald Trump will put an end to caste politics in universities. N.Ram the owner of the newspaper has written an article explaining what kind of Liberal champion Trump will become once he joins JNU. Popular stand up comedian and part time politician Laloo Prasad Yadav is also jubilant with the news. "Trumpwa to Bihar ka beta hein. Hum usko maha ghatbandhan ki istrategy sikha yenge"
Amidst all of these, students of JNU are busy with their preparations to welcome Donald Trump. Girls of the University are already wearing T-shirts with vintage Trump's photo along side caption "My darling Donald". When asked about how much they like Trump, one of the girl said "I actually dont know that guy, he should be a poet or something. But the color of this T-shirt matches with my nail polish and they are cheaper and have better quality than what they sell in Sarojini Nagar market. So I purchased one for myself and my friend"
Whole world is waiting when Donald Trump will come out and urinate publicly shout slogans supporting Palestine and other holy places of liberalism.
Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik
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