Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Tarek Fatah: Right wing Rambo

Jai Guru Deva,

Last Saturday witnessed an unique phenomenon in electronic media of this country. One person was present in three different back to back discussions aired by three different channels. This person was not any Indian politician, technically speaking not even an Indian. The man was Tarek Fatah, a self declared Rajput of Pakistani origin aspiring to become an Indian citizen :) Bespectacled man with almost 50% bald head is Tarek Fatah though a Canadian citizen who probably is more popular in India and Balochistan than Canada. None other than the PM of India personally enquires about his health. His commitment to the cause of an independent Balochistan is second to none and his unequivocal stance against Islamo fascism is unbelievable.

Now, let me take a step back and understand why and how he earned such a huge fan base.. His rejection of armed jihad obviously have a lot of takers in the hindu right wing (folks like me). But there are several others who rejected armed jihad but didn't become a Tarek Fatah. Tarek Fatah is as courageous as Dr. Swamy and as knowledgeable as Rajiv Malhotra or S.Gurumurthy. His sense of humour is comparable to the likes of Anupam Kher. His presence in the debates makes Pakistani panelists resort to cheap personal abuses and nothing else. Which clearly shows the amount of frustration Pakistani people get with his sheer presence. Of course, Tarek sir aptly gives them what they deserve.

Most of the things which Tarek sir speaks or quotes are systematically taken out of public discourse. To me, this enlightenment and shock that Tarek sir gives to the people of India makes him so dear to them. It will not be an exaggeration to say that most of the ordinary indians never knew about a seperate country called Balochistan in 1947.. Nowhere in the history books it was mentioned that there was a king named khan of kalat. The ignorance and misinformation fed to indians by several forces with vested interests is a grave crime. Now, When Tarek sir objectively disputes several of our historical "beliefs" we cant help but admire him.

Though he says he doesn't belong to right wing and supports anyone against what he calls "Mullah's Islam" , in most of the debates he participates his views against the popular left wing arguments. That's why i call him a right wing rambo.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Book review: Avarana

Jai Guru Deva,
This book was originally written by S.L. Bhairappa in Kannada and later translated to English by Sandeep balakrishna. I dont know why the book was named as Avarana and the author didn't bother to explain either. Its a historical novel covering a history of 2000 years. The main protagonist of the book is a woman named Lakshmi alias Razia who had converted to islam after falling in love with Amir.  The whole book is how her life changed  after she finds her father's notes about religion, civilization etc.

As a person belonging to the rightwing of the political spectrum I thoroughly enjoyed the book as it suited my political affiliation. Major chunk of the book is dedicated to the hypocrisy of the Marxist brigade and their sinister methods to belittle Sanatana Dharma. However, what I am impressed is the research done behind this work to expose the different lies and half truths peddled into the Indian mainstream psyche. In this era of  presstitutes ruling the mainstream historical narrative the findings of the author were mind blowing. The author deserve nothing less than a Gnanapeeth award for the research went into every page of the book. Some of the historical facts that shocked me:
1. Things about the life of prophet mohammed 
2. Tyranny of mughal rule across different parts of the country.
3. In 1659, at Golconda fort 22000 hindu young men were turned into eunanchs to serve the mahalas of mughal concubines.
4. Destruction of Banaras temple and its explanation.

Given the level of Islamic imperialism in India this book would have created a huge controversy. Though the author crossed the lakshman rekha in his criticism towards other religions he had ensured the background justified the strong words. On the other hand the depiction of internal struggle in lakshmi was amazingly done. Particularly when she debates about the purpose of reading history the author proved that he is a master story teller and his intellectual acumen is probably the best around.
Then there was a character called Sastry the Marxist intellectual which is the personification of hypocrisy. This character reminded me of some people who met in my growing up days who used ideals as long as they suited their interests. No wonder Marxism is on tge deathbed now.

Now after reading such an engrossing book i cant help but read the other book of S.L. Bhairappa.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Now, Trump enrolls in JNU to increase his liberal credentials!!!

Jai Guru Deva,

In a desperate bid of image changeover, Donald Trump decides to enroll himself in JNU for showing the republicans and rest of the universe the liberal side of his personality. "This is not a hasty decision after cancelling a couple of rallies but a well thought out decision by Donald. We are pretty confident that this gambit will work in our favor. After all, JNU is the Mecca err.. Jerusalem of liberal thinking where even public urination is treated as a gesture of liberty" explained one of his supporters. Several jobless guys analysts believe that this will swing the tide decisively in favor of Trump.  "I think this will help him, till now everybody accused him as prejudiced, hate monger, white supremacist. But once he enrolls in JNU he will naturally become a liberal thinker. I'm sure he will stop muslim bashing and will start wearing a rumi cap to display how progressive and liberal he has become" remarked one of the analyst while cleaning the accumulated dust in his ears. However, not all is well in Republican party. Republican leaders who spent $38M to stop Donald Trump are dumbstruck with this development. "Had he did this before, we would have saved $38M and thats hell lot of a money" groaned one of the angry leader. 

On the other side, Prof. Memon of JNU welcomed Donald Trump into the University. She explained that "By not belonging to the most violent Hindu religion he has a natural qualification for liberal thinking. Now, all he has to do is some practice with Azadi slogans and I'm sure he will be good at it. I wish he takes slogans like Azadi from Wall Street, Azadi from Manhattan and Azadi from Statue of Liberty to showcase his liberal thought process." Self certified senior journalists of Indian media were delighted with this move. Burkha Dutt declared that she is already planning a series like "From a real estate tycoon to Liberal Thinker: Journey of Donald Trump" while her compatriot Rajdeep Sardesai declared that he will allocate one chapter of his next book for Donald Trump. "Seems Zee group bought India Today so I will be job less again and will have to write something. Will write about Trump and Old Monk. Subhratri!" tweeted Sardesai. The editorial of The Hindu has praised that the move of Donald Trump will put an end to caste politics in universities. N.Ram the owner of the newspaper has written an article explaining what kind of Liberal champion Trump will become once he joins JNU. Popular stand up comedian and part time politician Laloo Prasad Yadav is also  jubilant with the news. "Trumpwa to Bihar ka beta hein. Hum usko maha ghatbandhan ki istrategy sikha yenge"

Amidst all of these, students of JNU are busy with their preparations to welcome Donald Trump. Girls of the University are already wearing T-shirts with vintage Trump's photo along side caption "My darling Donald". When asked about how much they like Trump, one of the girl said "I actually dont know that guy, he should be a poet or something. But the color of this T-shirt matches with my nail polish and they are cheaper and have better quality than what they sell in Sarojini Nagar market. So I purchased one for myself  and my friend"

Whole world is waiting when Donald Trump will come out and urinate publicly shout slogans supporting Palestine and other holy places of liberalism.

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Management Lessons from Rahul Gandhi

Jai Guru Deva,

Yesterday was a solar eclipse and my mother is worried that myself who was born in Kumbha rasi will be negatively impacted by that. Initially I didnt belive that but now that seems to be true :( Firstly, I got fever and was forced to take a day off from work and today for some strange cosmic mystic spiritual reasons I'm finding several management lessons in the speeches of Rahul Gandhi. Let me be a little magnanimous and give you a glimpse of the knowledge the uncrowned prince of grand old party is distributing free of cost. After all, IIMA grads learnt management techniques from Laloo Prasad Yadav. 

Fruit of Knowledge 1: 10 out of 7

Only Rahul Gandhi can count 10 out of 7. But jealousy bhakts criticized him as pappu. They failed to understand the hidden message present in this. All the management gurus say "Go Extra Mile" and this is Rahul baba's way of saying that. what can be the extra mile than counting 10 when you have only 7. God damn Sanghis never think out of box!

Fruit of Knowledge 2: Thrill (maza) to every women congress worker

Today, as we speak every company is trying to become an equal opportunity employer. Same way, Rahul baba also wants enjoyment distributed across all the women congress workers. Whats so wrong about it? After all, he is the self declared champion of women empowerment in the last two thousand years. if you have any doubts about this go and watch frankly barking sorry speaking with Arnab Goswami.

Fruit of Knowledge 3: Politics in Pants

Corrupted minds cannot understand the profound message behind this claim. You see, all the corporate scandals for that matter any scandal happens because of only two things: Money and Lust. So Rahul baba is warning everybody to be wary of scandals and keep themselves clean. Atleast now you should believe Rahul baba is the best thing to happen for planet earth after sliced bread!

Fruit of Knowledge 4: This morning I woke up at night

This is perhaps the most mind blowing piece of $h!t sorry knowledge from Rahul baba. Negative minds and mediocre beings cannot apprehend the cryptic meaning behind this. If you want to go places in your career you have to work hard. which means you have to work at night but you should think that as morning. Communal Hindus never understood this while secular colleagues like Sanjay Jha and Digvijay Singh clearly understood the essence.

Fruit of Knowledge 5: India is bigger than Europe and United States put together

This is actually a master stroke by Rahul Gandhi. BJP cyber army ridiculed this and rest of shameless netizens laughed at this. But this is a message which shows the patriot hiding inside Rahul baba. If you put together all the public places where people spit without a second thought, that will be far more than the whole of Europe and USA put together. So the message here is about the hygienic sense one should have. Those who doesnt understand this are clearly agents of suit boot ki sarkar.

Will decode some more of Rahul baba's cryptics messages after the next eclipse!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Open Letter to Mr. N. Ram and "The Hindu"

Jai Guru Deva Mr. Ram,

I have name but I prefer not to mention because that is irrelevant and immaterial to what I'm writing today. But Mr. Ram, I wanted to claim that I belong to a typical South Indian family who relishes the combination of filter coffee and Hindu paper. I also want to state that I'm an admirer of your paper for the last two decades which roughly translates to 60% of my life. Even today, I have an yearly subscription to The Hindu.(this time your agent gave me for 500 rupees only) I cherish my high school days when I had collected notes from The Hindu to read in my school assembly. However, off late I'm disheartened to see the quality of news/articles/opinions of your esteemed news paper. You have all the right in the world to term the following paragraphs of this letter as personal rant but my dear sir, I swear I am writing this to express my anguish. Nothing more, nothing less!

When MF Hussain was given Qatar nationality, I was shocked to see you, Mr. Ram writing an article claiming that Mr. Hussain "breathes the spirit of modernity, progress and tolerance". Let me tell you sir, if Mr. Hussain is all that you mentioned in your article then the left parties who claim to champion modern/progressive thinking should replace their emblem of hammer/sickle with Sunny Leone in some pose that I dont want to mention here. I want to bring to your notice that Mr.Hussain opted to move out because he should have been cooling his legs in Tihar jail if he hadnt taken that option. Unfortunately enough, freedom of expression is not absolute and dragging some one to court is not unconstitutional!

Come 2014, just before the general elections your esteemed news paper was completely mute about all the scams of UPA rule. All your editorials/opinions stopped mentioning anything about the failure of  UPA. In fact, you brought out the data scientist hiding in you and personally wrote an article explaining through numbers how BJP cannot come to power in 2014. One of the editorials praised Mr. Rahul Gandhi for his speech in AICC meeting. Till that day sir, for whatever reasons people used to hate you. But since then people started to pity you doubting your mental soundness.

When a pub was allegedly attacked by Hindu groups in Mangalore, it happens to be your main page high font size heading but when Muslim organizations attacked police stations and other law enforcement agencies in Bihar/Bengal you have allocated a small 4x4 box in the inner pages of your paper. Even worse, you stated that "mobs" attacked police stations. I know only one term that suits this behaviour and that is "Bias". Pray explain, why this bias?

Sometime back, there was a cartoon in your esteemed paper about the Turban of the then Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Next day, you had given an explanation in the "Letters to Editor" section saying it was not meant to hurt the sentiments of Sikhs. I think  you did the right thing by giving an explanation. I appreciate your gesture! But as late as last week you had a cartoon with Lord Hanuman and making fun of the accident in Mumbai's "Make In India" event. I am still waiting to see any explanation from your end. Pray explain, why Hindu Gods are inferior to that of other religions? And by choosing an accident to attack your political enemies you seem to be satisfying your ego of self righteousness.

Another thing I want to touch upon is about your political affiliation. I had seen your tweet to oppose BJP in Bihar elections and I completely understand that you are anti BJP for reasons better known to you. I dont know from a moral stand point, how fair it is for a media house to take a political stance. You may conveniently snub me saying "every media house have political affiliation these days". But not every media house has the rich legacy of The Hindu. Coming back to my actual point, amidst the rage of opposing BJP you are going too far and ending up attacking Hindu religion. Like your other compatriots, you may abuse me by calling Bhakt/Sanghi/Cheddi but I'm sorry to say sir, your anti Hindu bias is out and open.

Finally a personal note:

Traditions sir, are a test of our self discipline. However great may they be, owing to our mortal capabilities, we cant hold on to all of the traditions that we receive from our previous generations. You stopped your tradition of Sankranti dhoti/saree to your employees. Probably, time has come for me to rethink about the tradition of patronizing The Hindu which I received from my Grand Parents, Parents and Uncles. 

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,