Thursday, March 10, 2016

Management Lessons from Rahul Gandhi

Jai Guru Deva,

Yesterday was a solar eclipse and my mother is worried that myself who was born in Kumbha rasi will be negatively impacted by that. Initially I didnt belive that but now that seems to be true :( Firstly, I got fever and was forced to take a day off from work and today for some strange cosmic mystic spiritual reasons I'm finding several management lessons in the speeches of Rahul Gandhi. Let me be a little magnanimous and give you a glimpse of the knowledge the uncrowned prince of grand old party is distributing free of cost. After all, IIMA grads learnt management techniques from Laloo Prasad Yadav. 

Fruit of Knowledge 1: 10 out of 7

Only Rahul Gandhi can count 10 out of 7. But jealousy bhakts criticized him as pappu. They failed to understand the hidden message present in this. All the management gurus say "Go Extra Mile" and this is Rahul baba's way of saying that. what can be the extra mile than counting 10 when you have only 7. God damn Sanghis never think out of box!

Fruit of Knowledge 2: Thrill (maza) to every women congress worker

Today, as we speak every company is trying to become an equal opportunity employer. Same way, Rahul baba also wants enjoyment distributed across all the women congress workers. Whats so wrong about it? After all, he is the self declared champion of women empowerment in the last two thousand years. if you have any doubts about this go and watch frankly barking sorry speaking with Arnab Goswami.

Fruit of Knowledge 3: Politics in Pants

Corrupted minds cannot understand the profound message behind this claim. You see, all the corporate scandals for that matter any scandal happens because of only two things: Money and Lust. So Rahul baba is warning everybody to be wary of scandals and keep themselves clean. Atleast now you should believe Rahul baba is the best thing to happen for planet earth after sliced bread!

Fruit of Knowledge 4: This morning I woke up at night

This is perhaps the most mind blowing piece of $h!t sorry knowledge from Rahul baba. Negative minds and mediocre beings cannot apprehend the cryptic meaning behind this. If you want to go places in your career you have to work hard. which means you have to work at night but you should think that as morning. Communal Hindus never understood this while secular colleagues like Sanjay Jha and Digvijay Singh clearly understood the essence.

Fruit of Knowledge 5: India is bigger than Europe and United States put together

This is actually a master stroke by Rahul Gandhi. BJP cyber army ridiculed this and rest of shameless netizens laughed at this. But this is a message which shows the patriot hiding inside Rahul baba. If you put together all the public places where people spit without a second thought, that will be far more than the whole of Europe and USA put together. So the message here is about the hygienic sense one should have. Those who doesnt understand this are clearly agents of suit boot ki sarkar.

Will decode some more of Rahul baba's cryptics messages after the next eclipse!

Sarvejana Sukhinobhavantu,
-Karthik





2 comments:

  1. Fantastic karthik, don't know whether this is a compliment or complaint for congis or for BJP. Nice article.

    ReplyDelete